Need a Laugh? Consider these Economic “Solutions” from Across America
Rescue Plan Alternatives Abound
Following Monday’s failure of the proposed economic rescue bill, the airwaves on Tuesday were filled with alternative proposals from “experts” in government and industry. Before I mention the alternative suggestions from the “experts”, we need to talk about Joe Six Pack. He had his say as well. Actually, Joe was first heard from on Monday. Joe called his Congressperson to voice strong opposition to the rescue bill. Joe conveyed an elegantly simple economic message: If you vote this rescue package into law, Joe Six Pack will vote you out of office.
Joe Six Pack Has His Own Ideas
Mr. ToughMoneyLove generally likes Joe Six Pack. In fact, Mr. ToughMoneyLove likes beer so maybe I am Joe Six Pack. Anyway, I enjoyed hearing some of the suggestions that Joe offered today for how to deal with the crisis in the credit markets. Some of them made me laugh. This week I needed a good laugh. It was kind of sad, however, to realize that Joe did not intend to make me laugh. He was just trying to help.
I actually learned about Joe’s suggestions from Mrs. ToughMoneyLove who was listening to the “Big D and Bubba” show on WSIX FM. Listeners were invited to call in with their personal ideas for how to survive in these difficult economic times. Please read what three callers recommended. (Remember that these are real callers and that they are allowed to vote.)
Buy drinks in aluminum cans. Not only do you get to drink what is inside but then you can sell the cans.
Wow. I thought the aluminum can resale business was monopolized by confused people pushing stolen shopping carts. Now they have telephones and are not afraid to use them. I’m guessing the real take-away from this call is that the more you drink from aluminum cans, the wealthier you are. Or would that theory apply only to beer cans?
Don’t invest in anything but land because land never loses value.
I did not appreciate until this call that all of the homes that are losing value in California and elsewhere are not built on actual “land.” The caller neglected to explain what those devalued homes are built on. I hope he calls back and tells us because they will want to study that material in the new super particle collider in Europe.
We go to the bank with $40 every week and get quarters. We keep the quarters at home in five gallon plastic water jugs. We have saved $7600 this way. That’s because no one wants to go to the store and buy stuff with a big jug of quarters.
This was my favorite call because it was so logical, particularly that last part. On the other hand, now that this caller’s secret is out, shortages of quarters and water jugs could develop. Better starting hoarding yours.
Did I mention that these were real callers and that they can vote?
So now you know the hard truth of how the rescue bill was voted down and what Joe Six Pack is proposing instead. While other so-called experts were talking about increasing FDIC insurance limits, doing away with mark-to-market accounting rules, or having the Treasury acquire preferred stock in distressed banks, real people were discussing real ideas. The march of the financially clueless continued unabated. Is it no wonder that the market rebounded on Tuesday?
I am curious readers. Have any of you heard a “solution” to our crisis that brought a nervous smile to your face?